"There is one thing, Emma, which a man can always do, if he chooses, and that is his duty; not by maneuvering and finessing, but by vigor and resolution." So says Mr. Knightley in Jane Austen's novel,
Emma (Ch. 18). Knightley is referring to the conduct of Frank Churchill, a young man who has not done his father the courtesy of a visit. Churchill's mother died when he was a child, and, since his mother's brother and his wife had no children, he was raised by them. His aunt and uncle provided him a life of luxury and made him their heir. Now that his father has recently remarried, Knightley sees it as Frank Churchill's duty to visit his father and his new wife. However, his formation in the household of his aunt and uncle has not prepared him to act dutifully. As Knightley says, "It is a great deal more natural than one could wish, that a young man, brought up by those who are proud, luxurious, and selfish, should be proud, luxurious, and selfish too."
In this novel, published in 1816, Jane Austen presents us with a picture of the first stages of a transition from a proper understanding of duty to the present state of western culture in which the behavior of Frank Churchill is more common than it should be. It is not that most of us are raised in a state of material luxury, but pride and selfishness are certainly prevalent in our culture.
This decline in a desire to do our duty has been a gradual one. The British in World War II could understand duty when they said, "Keep Calm and Carry On." But, after the World War II generation the slide into an individualism characterized by narcissism became more evident. One example of this is our present emphasis on feeling. It is common for one person to ask another how they feel about something rather than what they believe or think about it. Our feelings become the basis for our actions rather than our beliefs or our reason.
Last month in America we celebrated "Mother's Day," and this month we celebrate "Father's Day." This is a good time for Christian fathers and mothers and grandfathers and grandmothers to examine our own families and ask ourselves how we are forming our children and grandchildren in the Christian faith. Are we teaching them by precept and example the behavior which duty requires? This is made more difficult in our time by our contemporary American culture that is not family-friendly. Divorce is rampant, and children are shuttled back and forth between parents who have married another spouse. Children, because of parental decisions, are denied a stable home and have to deal with complex relationships with stepparents, stepbrothers and stepsisters, and more than two sets of grandparents. Children suffer from the individualist, selfish, narcissistic choices of their parents. While we may not raise our children in material luxury, too often they are being raised to be as selfish as their parents are selfish. It is a good time for Catholic parents to consider again the duty they have to each other as husband and wife, the duty they have as parents to their children, and the duty of the children to honor their parents and grandparents.
Duty requires honesty about truth in the order of things in human relationships and in everything else. When one defines duty, it is first understood as obedient behavior to one's superiors. However, superiors have a duty to behave respectfully toward those over whom they have authority. At its basis, duty is behavior required by a moral obligation that acknowledges truth and is guided by that truth. Truth is not determined by or dependent upon our feelings, and neither is duty.
Duty requires an honest recognition of the truth of "what is." Wishful thinking does not lead to acting dutifully. As Catholic Christians we have a duty to speak and act according to the truth. The Catholic Church has always proclaimed the truth about marriage and the family. Sacramental Marriage is an indissoluble covenantal union of a man and woman that is an image of the union of Christ and His Church (See Eph. 5:32, Catechism, #'s 1601-1617). The Second Vatican Council and the Catechism (#'s 1665,1666,1667) call the family the
Ecclesia domestica, the domestic Church. As the Catechism states, "In our own time, in a world often alien and even hostile to faith, believing families are of primary importance as centers of living, radiant faith ... It is in the bosom of the family that parents are by word and example ... the first heralds of the faith with regard to their children. They should encourage them in the vocation which is proper to each child ... "
Moreover, "It is here that the father of the family, the mother, children, and all members of the family exercise the priesthood of the baptized in a privileged way by the reception of the sacraments, prayer and thanksgiving, the witness of a holy life, and self-denial and active charity. Thus the home is the first school of Christian life ... Here one learns endurance and the joy of work, fraternal love, generous — even repeated — forgiveness, and above all divine worship in prayer and the offering of one's life."
Unfortunately, this truth proclaimed by the Catholic Church throughout her history is under attack now not only from people outside the Church but also from some within the Church. In the wake of Amoris Laetitia, the Apostolic Exhortation of Pope Francis published following the two Synods on the Family, questions have been raised about whether or not Catholics who are in a sacramental marriage and have been civilly divorced and remarried should be allowed to receive Holy Communion without an annulment of their first marriage. Those who stand by the truth taught traditionally by the Church see this issue as having broader implications about the permanent character of sacramental marriage, the sacredness of family life, and the nature of the Eucharist itself, which, as the Catechism teaches, is the "source and summit of the Christian life," (#1324) inseparably connected to the Incarnation, Atoning Death, Resurrection, Ascension, High-Priesthood, and Second Coming of Jesus Christ, who is the Second Person of the Holy Trinity.
It is the duty of all Catholics, lay and clerical, to proclaim the truth about the permanent character of sacramental marriage and the attendant sanctity of family life. Those who proclaim this truth are sometimes referred to as Pharisees who have no understanding of mercy. In Mk. 10:2-9, Pharisees, in order to test Jesus, ask him, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?" Jesus answers a question with a question and says, "What did Moses command you?" They reply, "Moses allowed a man to write a certificate of divorce, and to put her away." Jesus then speaks the definitive teaching about marriage and divorce: "For your hardness of heart he wrote you this commandment. But from the beginning of creation 'God made them male and female.' 'For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one.' So they are no longer two but one. What therefore God has joined together, let no man put asunder." In other words, in this encounter it is the Pharisees who are lax in their teaching about marriage and divorce, not Jesus. What does this have to do with duty? Simply this. It is the duty of all Catholics, lay and clerical, to proclaim the truth of "what is" as Jesus taught it. Among some, especially the academic and media elite, this will not be popular. This will "hurt their feelings." But truth is not determined by nor dependent upon our feelings and neither is duty. It is not merciful to deny truth to any one. Truth and mercy always are together.
To end where we began with Jane Austen's novel,
Emma, toward the end of the story Mr. Knightly and Emma are together in the garden outside her house. Knightly says, "I cannot make speeches Emma....If I loved you less, I might be able to talk about it more. But you know what I am. You hear nothing but truth from me. I have blamed you, and lectured you, and you have borne it as no other woman in England would have borne it" (Ch. 49). Knightley has done his duty by doing what St. Paul admonishes all of us to do, that is to "speak the truth in love" (Eph. 4:15). It is our duty to speak the truth in love and to act accordingly. As Knightley says, "There is one thing, Emma, which a man can always do, if he chooses, and that is his duty; not by maneuvering and finessing, but by vigor and resolution" (Ch. 18).