By Alison Pope
Associate Director, Office of Evangelization and Catechesis

In Christus Vivit, Pope Francis “encourages communities to examine, respectfully and seriously, the situation of their young people, in order to find the most fitting ways of providing them with pastoral care” (103). While elements of pastoral care are universal, how we practice pastoral care will take as many varied forms as people we encounter.

While pastoral care will take on a variety of forms, it has several distinct features that provide direction to our comprehensive ministry efforts. Pastoral care includes, but is not limited to:

• Developing life skills of adolescents, including but not limited to building relationships and healthy conflict resolution;
• Helping guide young people in making important life decisions;
• Fostering spiritual development;
• Creating networks of care and support;
• Providing resources and programs for parent education and effective parenting skills;
• Assisting families in strengthening family life by improving family skills;
• Providing and connecting young people and families to support services; and
• Collaborating with the larger community in providing aid to at-risk youth.

At its basic form, “the ministry of pastoral care is a compassionate presence in imitation of Jesus’ care of people” ( Renewing the Vision, p. 42). Pastoral care is being present for young people and their families when they are in need. This can include when they are experiencing anxiety, depression, and suicidal ideation. But it is also being present and journeying with them during divorce, grief, unemployment, moving to a new town, or anything else in life that causes them to struggle.

Pastoral care is not counseling, unless you are a licensed counselor. Most of us engaged in ministry or journeying with young people are not licensed counselors. Rather than trying to fill that role, we must educate ourselves in knowing the warning signs if something is wrong and referring them to somebody who is qualified to offer the help we cannot give.

We can practice pastoral care by engaging in empathetic, active listening. This means not listening in order to give advice or to try to fix things but simply listening to what is being shared with us. We are not to tell them or imply that what they are feeling is not legitimate. Rather, we should validate their feelings. It is not our place to decide how somebody responds to what is going on in their life, but simply accept their feelings as reasonable. If we don’t know what to say, it is okay to simply not say anything. It is better to be honest in that we don’t know how to respond than to say something that will either make the situation worse or show us to be untrustworthy.

We must remember that pastoral care is not just about the young people, but the entire family. As with all aspects of our ministry, we must keep in the forefront the reality that families are the biggest influence on young people and a vital part of their faith journey. As such, pastoral care is being present to the entire family when they are in need. That need will look different for each family. Again, it is not our job to judge their needs, but to simply offer our presence and our help.

The parable of the Good Samaritan found in the Gospel of Luke (10:30–37) can be a beautiful model for pastoral care and accompanying young people during difficult times. We may not always know the young people that cross our path. There may even be times when we don’t necessarily like them. Yet, if we are willing, we can be open to see and respond to the complex needs of today’s young people like the Good Samaritan did.

First, we must be like the Good Samaritan and see the hurt. Others passed by the man who was beaten, but the Good Samaritan saw him and, unlike the priest and Levite who passed by earlier, did not avoid him or refuse to help him. When working with young people, we must know how to recognize the signs that they are hurting and be willing to enter into that hurt with them. If we are not naturally able to see when they are struggling, we must pray for the grace to see.

After seeing the beaten man, the Good Samaritan was moved with compassion. The Good Samaritan did not judge the man or belittle the ways he was hurt. In the same way, we must see the ways that young people are hurting and be moved with compassion. Too often, the struggles young people are facing are demeaned simply because of their age. Their stress, pressures, and struggles are real and genuine. Just because somebody’s struggle is different than ours does not make it less valid. Like the Good Samaritan, we must simply be willing to help them without judgment or condemnation.

The Good Samaritan then responds to the hurt he sees. He takes action. He did what he could with what he had. When we see young people hurting, it is easy to do nothing because we are not qualified or feel inadequate. It takes courage to see, care, and respond with whatever tools and gifts we have at our disposal. We may not have enough to fulfill the needs of that young person, but we can accompany them and help them find the help they need.

The Good Samaritan entered into a messy situation, but also knew his limits. Often, when working with young people, we don’t engage in pastoral care because of the messiness. Just like the Good Samaritan, we must enter into the messiness knowing our limits. The Good Samaritan did what he could, yet didn’t try to do what he wasn’t capable of doing. While we must use our skills of listening and entering into dialogue, we must also use our skills of referral. We must know how and when to refer young people and their families to those who are more qualified to offer the professional help needed.

After doing what he can and getting the man help, the Samaritan continues on his journey. He does not bring him into his own home or adopt him. Many of us will have the opportunity to journey with a number of young people, but we may not be privileged to journey with them for their entire lives. It is our job to do what we can during the time we are given, and then continue on our journey of faith and ministry to help others who are on our path.

That does not mean we don’t follow up. We see that the Good Samaritan intends to follow up when he tells the innkeeper that he will repay the innkeeper on his way back. When we successfully or unsuccessfully refer young people to the help they need, our role does not end. We should try to follow up and check in. This may be difficult and at times the young person or their family may not want our further involvement. We must respect that, knowing that our sincerity in our compassion and caring will give the message that we truly want what is best for them.

Just like the parable of the Good Samaritan is a model for us, how we practice pastoral care can teach others how to care for the people in their lives who are experiencing difficulties. Pastoral care is about having someone who cares. May we all be more like the Good Samaritan — seeing those who are hurting, reaching out in compassion, doing what we can with what we can, and helping them to find the care we cannot provide.