By Alison Pope
Associate Director, Office of Evangelization and Catechesis
“All are welcome.” Most think that by simply saying those words, everybody listening would feel welcome to your event/gathering/parish. Yet creating a welcoming environment is about more than just announcing that all are welcome. Welcoming is an attitude that must be embraced by all involved and carried out in the way we interact with all who come through our doors.
First, perhaps we should think about what has made us feel welcome in new experiences or places. We’ve all been the newcomer at one point or another. What made it less painful? What eased our introduction? What made us feel we could return? What made us want to return? This should be our first simple step to understanding how to put strangers at ease.
Often, we implement practices that we, as those already part of the community, think are welcoming but are often perceived by visitors as uncomfortable and embarrassing. One of these practices is asking visitors or newcomers to stand or otherwise identify themselves amid a large group. For many, this puts them ill at ease and makes them feel anything but welcomed. If somebody is already anxious, being put on the spot will make it worse.
Yes, we should acknowledge visitors and guests, but in a more general way than singling them out. Rather than having them stand or raise their hand, share a genuine word of welcome at the start of the program to all who may be new or visiting. There can be personal and intentional follow-up after the event with those whose are new, inviting them to return and answering questions they may have.
We should not rely on a designated greeting time to say hello or welcome those who are new or visiting. This can feel forced and contrived, rather than genuine. These designated greeting times, more often than engaging visitors, become a time for those already established in the community or group to say hello to friends and others they already know. Instead, greet everybody as they arrive, with a special focus on newcomers and visitors. Personal greetings require the effort of attention, which is also the effort of bypassing the desire to spend one’s time connecting with friends.
We should teach all in our communities how to genuinely welcome others. This genuine welcome can take many forms. At its most basic form, it can mean greeting others with eye contact and a smile. Our facial expressions can be the first sign of welcome or the first thing to turn somebody away. For some, it could be intentionally sitting next to people you don’t know, introducing yourself, and engaging in conversation. For others, it could be helping somebody find their way. For example, if somebody needs help finding a specific room or building, offer to walk them there instead of giving directions they may not understand if they are not familiar with the layout of your buildings.
Another important part of being welcoming is learning people’s names. At times, it could mean using nametags so that all present can easily use each other’s names without the added pressure of having to remember every name thrown at them during brief introductions. Using a person’s name can help give them a more personal connection when they are new to a group or community. To be called by name is to feel known.
On occasion, we may be welcoming somebody who we haven’t seen in a while. They aren’t new, but they have been absent from our gatherings. When we welcome them, we must remember that words matter. They should be welcomed with an attitude of “We are so glad you are here! How have you been?” Rather than with a scowling, “It’s about time you showed up again!” In Christus Vivit, Pope Francis talks about approaching people with “the grammar of love” (211). This is true not just when talking to young people, but with people of all ages. Our words should convey our love and concern for them and whatever has caused their absence, not disapproval that they were away.
When striving to be a welcoming community, we must remember to welcome without overwhelming. We must strive to welcome all equally. It should not feel like they are joining a special club. It shouldn’t matter if they share our faith, political ideals, or socioeconomic status. The non-religious newcomer who wanders in should be treated as well as, if not better than, the person who sits on the front pew every Sunday. Welcoming means accepting each person as they are.
When evaluating how welcoming we are, we must remember that feeling welcomed is determined by the recipient. Those who are visiting, returning after an absence, or looking for a place to belong are the experts in how welcomed they feel by us. It is not based on our perception as an insider, but their experience as the stranger. Ultimately, welcoming means less me and more we. How can I focus less on my own comfort and more on the comfort of those seeking a place to belong?